The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
