I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
