I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
