and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize