so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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