Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Be still, my beating vagina.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
