so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Randomize