Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
