that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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