WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
