So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
All the doctor said was why
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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