I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Drunk is a universal language darling
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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