you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
