I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
