I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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