I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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