sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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