Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
