Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
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