Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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