Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
