his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
