I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
