I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
