I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
