My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
