For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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