what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Randomize
