thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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