We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
