The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
