It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize