The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
