I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
