soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
