You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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