every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
