Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
