My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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