I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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