Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Randomize
