you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
