What did we do last night that was yellow?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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