But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
