sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
