what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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