Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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