wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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