need another drink. this is the easiest way
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
