it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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