I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
