it wasn't lemon gatorade
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
