maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
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