How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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