she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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